Tuesday, January 15, 2008

2 month checkup

Katelyn had her 2 month checkup yesterday. She weighed in at 15 lbs. 10 oz. (gotcha beat Brandon) She is still in the 99 percentile group. This means if she were in a room with 100 other babies she would be bigger than 99% of them! We are already moving into 6-9 month clothing!

I am thankful that I did not spend money on buying her lots of clothes. In 10 weeks she has blown right through 0-6 month sizes. With Alysa's hand me downs ;) she had plenty to get us through. Katelyn has also received some really cute clothes as gifts. I try to get her into them at least once before she outgrows them :) and get a picture.

Alysa is going to be like her mommy and have sensitive skin. We were given a list of specific shampoos and stuff to use with her. Unless we are out and about baby wipes are a no go. I can use them as long as I rinse them out first. The girls clothes ought to be washed with a separate laundry soap. Hopefully this will be something she will outgrow but even if she doesn't it's just a minor thing.

I am so thankful for my three healthy, beautiful children. Guess I should quit while I am ahead!

I have been thinking of Olivia a lot recently. A lot when I am holding Katelyn. I wish that I had held Olivia more. The short time that she was home I sort of felt guilty when I was holding her. I felt that she would rest better in her bed. I wish that I had been encouraged more to hold her. Looking back, she probably would have more enjoyed a nice warm body and comforting heart beart. I have been wishing that I had spent more time at the hospital with her. These are wishes that can't come true and I try not to dwell on the parts of the past that cause hurt. But, I am only human and the heart does not forget.

I believe that I maintain a healthy balance even though others may not think so at times.
Katelyn gave me a couple scares at the hospital when she stopped breathing and turned blue. After that I was really upset and just wanted to be watching her all the time. Sleep. What was that? I just wanted to see her chest rise and fall. Anyway....there was so much to it. Emotions mixed with medication and all. Anyway...what I was getting at.

One of the pediatricians came in to check on us. She had heard what had gone on with Katelyn and knew about us losing Olivia. Yet, for some reason she thought she still had the right to say that I was being TOO overprotective and basically said, "Katelyn is not Olivia. She is healthy. You need to get on with it and not worry so much." I told her I realized she wasn't Olivia and that I understood I was very emotional but it was not just about that. I told her about my mom and Pete. She just said something like, "Oh"

After she left, I looked at Brian, and asked, "is it just me hearing her wrong or did she really say that?!" I was pretty mad. Made me wonder if she has kids of her own. Tell me what new mother, that has any love for her newborn at all, doesn't lay awake those first few nights and listen to them breathe?

Anyway. I am just telling you the story. There are no angry emotions now. I know that I was not being overly protective. Emotional. I might give you that. And I leave Katelyn in the nursery and stuff now. But, you know what. Even if I chose not to, I am (we are) her parents and it is our right. I say that to remind those ofyou with young children not to let other make you feel bad for the decisions that you make for YOUR children. (unless they are decisions that may hurt them of course) There is always going to be someone out that that disagrees with what we are doing. Bottle vrs Breastfeeding. Stay at home mom vrs Daycare. Hand me downs vrs buying new. What they eat. When they nap. Potty training. Tv. Toys. Birthdays and Christmas. Some people don't like the idea that our children are not going to believe in Santa.

I am just as guilty. I laugh and other people's parenting idea's sometimes or even think they are wrong. I'll try to work on not being a judge.


Laura said...

It's nice to hear how big and wonderfully healthy Katelyn is. I have to comment on what was said to you at the doctors office. My mother in law lost a baby to crib death at 6 months old. She went through significant struggles dealing with and to this day she is more protective of my children, of illness, and accidents in general. I think our experiences make you who you are. After everything you have been through I think you have earned the right to do what ever is needed to help you relax and be okay. Until you have been faced with loosing a child you have no idea what its like or how it would change you. You are never the same, never niave and never able to forget about that experience. For her to say that you is just unkind and totally mean. Walk a day in your shoes or someone who has had a loss and she would not be so trite. I think you would find your feelings and reactions are perfectly normal and within limits if you were to talk to other moms with losses. They are normal to me. I admit to be overly protective of my kids, especially my twins. I am o.k with that.

Emma R. said...

Don't feel too bad, Derek has measured between 95-99 percentile for weight and his height his whole life! Some kids are just meant to be big.

I can't belileve that doctor told you that, that is mean. I still watch all 3 of my kids breath at night, even Emma and she is on a vent for crying out loud! I don't know why we do what we do, but us Mom's are just over protective sometimes, there is nothing wrong with that.


Anonymous said...

I think it's natural for a mom to be overprotective :) Do what's right for you and your kids. A mom knows best :)