Sunday, August 31, 2008

Tonight I cried


Today something really neat happened that really showed me that God is faithful even when I am not. He provided something that I have been wanting that I had not even asked for because it was not available anymore. I’ll explain another day but that was not what I was going to say when I started this post.

I wanted to write out how I was feeling this evening. After being on a kind of an emotional high today I was surprised to feel so sad tonight. I have been missing mom so much lately. The “it hurts so much it’s hard to breathe” kind of miss. But, I haven’t really cried real tears for awhile. Tonight, I cried. As I was sitting on the floor with Katie (as we call her most of the time now) it just hit me. She is now walking, waving “bye, bye” and at the moment I was watching her was running a car back and forth across the floor all grown up like. I just know how much joy my mom got from my children and I want her here so badly now to get loving’ from Katie. Sometimes, just because mom used to do it with Tyler and Alysa I will kiss her little neck and toes and say, “I’m going to steal all your sugar.” I tell her, “That is what your Grammie would be saying if she were here right now.” I can only imagine that mom knows about Katelyn and how she is growing up so fast. I mean , she lived with The One who created my child so she can get all her information firsthand, right?

Mom, I love you so much. I know that I told you that often but after we lose someone we feel as though we never told them enough.


3 comments:

Naomi said...

Your little Katie is so adorable! I'm glad you were able to cry... it is always a good thing to be able to have that release.
Love,
Naomi

Truck Driver Wife said...

There are days when I need a good release. Glad you got yours in and you feel good about it.

Kristen said...

i miss your blogging.......